It’s 0520 and I’m at the Coffee Bean at LCCT having a shite brekkie or lukewarm bagels and rockhard cream cheese. Sometimes work can seem attractive when your day off starts at 0325.

The plan was to go home, see the folks and cram as many meals into me as possible, fly to KK on Saturday to see a sick childhood friend and back to KL Sunday evening, all the while writing bits and pieces for a technical abstract that’s due Monday. Instead I got a phone call shortly before midnight last night. The friend had passed away, his family were incommunicado with shock.

Cancer is a dreadful thing, all the more shocking when it hits someone young and healthy. B’s will to live was strong and he obviously thought he’d beat the disease. He even got engaged and planned to get married this year. We who were far away believed him when he said he was ok and made his usual crappy jokes on the phone. When the much older dad of a friend died from the same cancer B had, we still believed. Mr.P was old, B was a young ex-jock, of course he could beat it!

The calls started coming in one by one, SMS after SMS. All exclamations of shock, a few cyber sobs. I slept about an hour before getting up at 0300 to go to the airport. The tears haven’t come yet. I wonder if they will for all this sick, sinking feeling in my chest. 

Rest in peace, dearest B.  



Filed under friends

3 responses to “gnawing

  1. i’m sorry, eds.

  2. linn

    Lots of hugs for you & lots of prayers for B. Stay tough ok? *hugs*

  3. the grouch

    thank you, both.

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