barbara ann

Mooching against your will in Hartamas will never be the same again! For I have found a 90 minute time-killer in the form of Zen Soul’s Aromatherapy Massage courtesy of Dina. Add a massage to the time taken for eating, shopping and reading, and I’m sure I can survive any jam session or awful gig Stinky throws my way. Hooray!

Yesterday I was so tired and grumpy that Stinky looked almost relieved when he deposited me at Zen Soul’s pretty waiting room. A pretty young thing washed my horribly grimy feet (try walking around KL in the rain) and led me to my room. On the bed was the usual towels, robe, disposable paper undies and some wrapped weird green thing I couldn’t make heads or tails of. I quickly stripped and unwrapped the paper undies. To my horror it was a g-string. I’ve never been to an establishment where its disposable undies were g-strings and I spent quite some time looking at it. The girl then came back and indicated to me that duh! the weird green thing was a scrunchie (or so I thought). I said, “Haha, I don’t need it then kan?” and lay down. She looked a bit exasperated and unwrapped and unrolled weird green thing, and lo and behold! It was a paper shower cap! For me to wear!

Bliss began when she yanked down my g-string and proceeded to lather some warm, yummy smelling oil on my whole back and butt. Then an awful awful thought came to my head: Was there any renegade toilet paper inbetween my buttcheeks? It happens on a regular basis and would always surprise me that I didn’t feel any alien thing between those two buns. OMG, what if there was? Would she tell anyone? Her boss? Her other clients? Sobs.

However all thoughts of stray toilet paper went out of my head when the masseuse apparently found a muscle mass she didn’t like on my left shoulder and tried to annihilate it with her elbow, fists and steel fingers. I’m sure whatever it was died a painful death and I thank my lucky stars it wasn’t living in my right shoulder as well.

At the end of the session I could barely string enough words to form a sentence. I was a drooling, blabbering but happy idiot and Stinky said I was a better person to hang around with afterwards. Thanks again for the recommendation, Dina. It’s so good, I’m taking my mother there when she comes over for a visit!

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