reflection and lights

Sometimes things get so out of hand and you feel so bad that even talking about it just makes it worse. So you keep quiet and respond when spoken to or smile and laugh when appropriate. You can’t talk about it. You’re afraid that if you do, a torrent of words will come out and not stop. Same as tears. You keep them at bay at all costs. Sometimes the act of pretending to be happy lulls you for a moment. You feel a slight lifting of spirits, only to feel much much much worse when the inevitable crash happens.
Don’t you ever wish that you go to sleep but don’t wake up?

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